Try and look at the majority of life situations with humor. Soon this too shall pass, so why fret over it when laughing is much healthier.

 Check on mom before school. You could have prevented some of the brain damage. Overdosing isn't healthy.

 Wear a condom, you won't regret it.

 I heard this quote, "The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second best time is now." I'm impatient. Find some seeds.

 Dont fall for him. He isnt worth it, espically isnt worth losing your best friend over.

 Don't worry, you won't regret not committing suicide. Life becomes worth living.

 He will break your heart for the next 8 years and then get engaged to anther girl 6 months after you break up for the last time. Don't worry, she eventually cheats on him and you end up with your Prince Charming.

 When that geeky guy says he likes you, give him a try. Bad guys are losers who will lie to you and cheat on you. This geek truly likes you, don't be an idiot!