Glenn Beck must die. The future is depending on you!

 don't start drinking, or smoking. These things lead to about 85% of the conflicts between you and your world.

 Don't eat so much. I'm not saying that you need to give up on eating all together, just be wise as to what you put in your mouth.

 No, razor blades are NOT your friend. They never have been and never will be.

 Every person you're going to fall in love with for a long time is going to be based totally on lust. Your intelligence will rationalize your "love", but the rationalization comes AFTER the lust. Just don't give in to it. You'll destroy your happiness and stability the second you do.

 Stay a kid as long as you can. Life is not a race. Life is a lesson. Seek out your teachers, ask questions, have fun. Don't forget, boys ARE smelly. Through dirt at them.

 Do you have a girlfriend yet?

 It will be okay! Don't be so scared to grow up and don't ignore the boy who at the moment can't get enough of you, you will reject it, he'll move on. And you'll be alone.