You are not bad or broken in any way. It's your abusive family. Find someone that really listens to you and that you can trust, then have them help you escape. You deserve to be happy and excited to try things, not terrified of being hurt or killed. I love you and so do others.

 DON'T go to that party. The regret you'll experience later isn't worth the acceptance from the "friends" you wanted then.

 DON'T go to that party at chris' house. The regret you'll experience later isn't worth the acceptance from your "friends"

 Don't go back to him. Don't believe the voice in your head that says it was your fault. It wasn't. You don't need him. Love yourself and it will all work out.

 Never give up on someone you can't go a day without thinking about. Someone like that is worth fighting for.

 He won't be your everything, so make some side plans. It's your life too.

 Don't be so hard on yourself and others. Learn to let go and move on. Don't belittle yourself for the satisfaction of others. Stand up and always be heard. Learn to love you. Most of all, keep your spirits up and never back down.

 You're going to go through hell but when you meet him you'll be free.