Your mother could not love you, not because of who you were but because her love for you would have sabotaged her husband’s need to divide and conquer all females.

 Dear young me, this too shall pass

 Don't come back to the old boyfriend, no matter what he promises. You will came back to the same point of why you broke up on the first place. And you will be more broke.

 he will ask you to dance. Don't over think it and pleeease control your nervous rambling! Just shut up, smile and look him in the eyes. He could have been your first kiss...

 One day you'll have friends. A lot. So be as good as you can, and above all don't let them destroy you.

 Don't worry about the future, whatever you do there is always something more to do, just enjoy the moment..

 don't be ashamed to ask for help. stuff you are dealing with is much bigger than you would ever be able to handle alone. but healing will come to you and you will feel great. do not wait for so long, start enjoying life - now.

 I hope I am doing the right thing...